Preface
My name is Ritzael Aaron. I’m come from ScwanKratsh in Middleshire. In January 1422, I went to Aarau, a small city in Phrillys Kingdom, for my research and study. Here, I felt very sad because my close friend dead in Destleft War. I’m alone and survived my research in very low facilities.
Preseince II is the name of a tribe; come from northern region. I lived in middle of this tribe. They were very strange tribe. I sometimes couldn’t understand what they said and they also. But I tried to understand them. From old men in Cangers Mountains, I heard a legend about Deadmen, they were cannibal tribe and very draconian. The old men advised me to aware the tribes from northern region, because many of Deadmen came from northern mountains.
Deadmen was said brought two curse; local villagers called it, Scaresad and Sorrowpain. One day, I fell sick and always stunning in long period. Local men called a shaman, to give some treatments. The shaman said; you became a Bloodsuffer. I don’t know what he said, but at last I got something when he said ‘Scaresad’.
That northern tribe is Deadmen and I always want to escape from their district. But I couldn’t. The time is near to over. I just survived on my remaining ability, on the ruins of my consciousness. I can’t move and talk. The curses increase from day to day. Lastly, I was separated in special dungeon in Fort of Nencyth. In my dungeon, I wrote this book.
This book based on my life along this journey, dedicated for people and myself, which have experience like this.
The Life is Mysteriously
Sometimes, anything we are wanted to happen not becomes to happen. To comfortable usually we think the initiative towards the success. But, while you walking, you not realize the suffering on the road. Whatever you think is good for you, sometimes is very poisonous and tortures you slowly. Whatever you think is bad for you, sometimes is way to door of blissful. It is very complex problem in our life.
“The memories is bitter”
Memories are a beach that full of experience. It sometimes becomes to be motivator to us to attain the glory. But sometimes it become our enemy, can put us into bloodshed.
However we can cry one thousand years, the sweet memories not comeback to us. It becomes to be: MEMORY IS MEMORY. Never embody into reality. But if you a bitter memories, you actually trapped with your consciousness. Anywhere you go, your consciousness will tell you about your unpleasant time. You will feel in fear and panic. It’s idiom, you in dark clouds.
And then…
You will have to experience one way. The left way, don’t cry so long because your life is moving to future. Maybe too far, in the sorrow, you must have a guideline. It is because your mind will becomes to weak and your spirit come near to moribund. You must survive it.
The Door of Truth Always to Open
The truth is existence, It is because the existence is a matter that too honest. Truth is very beautiful. You will get the enjoyable of truth if you know the pain of mendacious.
The way towards the truth is full of indefinitely. It becomes to be limits between the truth and us. But the heart was concealed by igneous can see through it. Inside the truth is belief. You believe the truth, and you inside the truth. The truth follows the way of existence. While you inside the truth, you actually exist and slowly to be honestly.
The doors of truth always call you to crane the light inside it.
Philosopher of Shadow
When a dream smiles to the life, the darkness will feel itself very lightning. The strongest castle is breath of beggars. The vision of morticians is more far than war.
O calmness, my dream is eternity, my future is the time, my eyes is sorrow, my ears is courageous, my food is asceticism, my drink is tears, my umbrella is stars, my friend is wind, my light is blind and my voice is secretive…
The twilight is come near to blindness. When you stand in front of a light source, back of you is your follower.
The devote friend of you is shadows.
The Suffering
Suffering teach us to understand the life and patience. Each of tears drops is step to open consciousness.
We actually not to want the suffering, but if the fate come to the suitable time, the suffering will smile to you. The grief, unpleasant time and torturing is your friend, when you accept the suffering.
What must do you do? Smile back to the suffering and hold its hand, and start to meditate The Great Secret; patience. Patience is the fort without wall, the empire without army, the knight without sword. Then the patience will solve your problem….
Alone in Truth
Thanks to Mr. Nature because taught us to solve the puzzle (confusion). However we in alone, the wind always talk to us.
Mr. Cat, how are you? Are you fine today? Mr. Cat was sleeping and not heard our greeting, but Mr. Cat still to hear; by his heart. Suddenly Mrs. Cat come and asked us to play a song, but we can’t.
Nevertheless, to not make Mrs. Cat become to disappoint, we played a song.
“We not alone in this world…
But many friends and followers…
Or the God always know our heart…”
The Meaning of Happiness
“Lhaniel, come to join me for studying tonight”, I said to my friend.
My friend still to follow to study at the night, but my time was not enough when I studied with him. He was a talkative man.
“Ritzael, you are lazy student, why your marks are very low. I do not understand how you manage you time”, said my Alchemic preacher.
“Are you did the revision”.
“No”.
And the old man starts to pi! Po! Pi! Po!!!!!!!!
I’m not lazy man but I’m in confusion. This is dilemma between my future and my happiness. Every person has different meaning about happiness. Many way we can got from variety thinking.
Sometimes the meaning of happiness is very strange. A person maybe like something and it’s giving him happiness, but to other person, maybe it is a hateful thing. However, the life not gives us many chances.
I don’t want study with him but I don’t want to make him in sorrow. I’m in pressure to patience with his studying style.
The meaning of happiness for me now, I want to study comfortably with him. I hope.
The Way to Perfect: The Happiness
The problem of happiness is a small matter for somebody. But actually it is important case.
What thing that very important for you? From it is important for you? Are you thinking the happiness of your life is important for you? What the meaning of happiness for you?
Do you want the happiness? What cause you can feel the happiness? In reality, the happiness is come from your knowledge of sadness.
It is universal law. Black and white. So, the way to get the perfect happiness is perfect feeling of sadness.
Philosopher of Shadow ll
Lets see the sun. The sun rises at the night.
“ Your light is very bright. The brightness is very lightning until near to dark my daylight…”
The words that come from heart will arrive on heart, the words that come from surface of tongue, will arrive just on surface of ear.
My shadows…
Will follow…
Your revenge…
…And your hatred…
If you don’t have the shadows…
I’m Sorry
Somebody gave me a burden, and I am in a very weak situation.
Somebody gave me a problem, and I’m in a big confusion.
Somebody gave a fear, and I’m a chicken.
Somebody gave me a world, and I’m a joker.
Somebody gave me a reality, and I in fantasy; I’m an abstract.
I’m sorry for my entire mistake. I’m not a cheater, but I must balance the situation; for you and me.
For her, I’m sorry.
Chapter 13: Sorry, I’m below ‘it’…
Maybe, in her thinking, I’m a hopeless man but she doesn’t know where I live now.
She doesn’t know my condition. Nevertheless she maybe thinking that, I still to forgive her.
“I’m standing, without earth…I’m fettering without chain…
I’m asking without sound…I’m crying without tears…”
I’m respect for her credibility, her professional and her liability. I’m understood about her job and assignment. However, I don’t do anything in here.
DON’T BLAME ME
I FAILED
Chaos
I’m very confused to think about my commitment now. In my heart and my mind, I’m usually wanted to give a big commitment, everyday.
However, my condition destroyed all of my hope, my spirit. I tried to tell my problem to the world, but they don’t want to switch on their hearing. Lastly, I killed them; let them in death, because death is peaceful…
Then, I back to my happiness. Do you happy after killing them? Ahh… what are you understand about my trouble? Let them in peace ha…ha…ha… Peace on their blood and damage? You don’t understand…
The Sucker of Sorrow
Mr. I walked along the road carefully. He was not hungry, because his stomach was full with ‘experience’.
He hasn’t a pair of shoes, and his feet injured, caused by broken glasses in the middle of the road. His foots was full with blood, and he didn’t feel any sickness. Suddenly, some water dropped. It’s rain. Mr. I in coldness. His wearing became to wet. He fell.
Suddenly, his eyes were full with tears…and dropped. However, her tried to smile. He tried to smile…and his smile thrower him from his fallen…
He knew his mistake but he always forgot. Sometimes he didn’t believe himself, and he thought that himself was a alien in this world. So, he wanted to get out from this world and flew with freedom.
HE DID THE FAULT
He did it again. He did it seem he was a very idiot man, but he not an idiot. We always think ourselves is clever but we always mistake.
It is like this man.
Blank
“The life is a book without cover, and the cover is always come to complete the book, although it also always to doff”.
I do not believe it.
“The cover is your decision. The decision is follow your credibility and the credibility is conqueror”.
You are cheater.
“You must patience with your fate. Patience with your ‘nightfall’, and the ruins…and the ruins…”
p/s-PREFACE
1. Ritzael Aaron, 1422, January is talking (wrote) about RAJA BERSIONG in the north of Tanah Melayu. (Suggest: Istana Raja Bersiong)
2. 600-700 Year ago, or in 1400 is Ayuthaya Kingdom +- Merong Mahawangser (suggest).
3. Yes, Ritzael is in Arau, Perlis Kingdom bacause he don't understand the loal language and so do the local.
4. Proven fact is: 'the shaman' (suggest: Sharman @ Tok Bomoh).
'Bomoh' or Sharman is believe to ease the bad energy/ or a soul healing for some pain etc. etc.
Suggest: a homoepaty kind of soul healing + metaphysic methodology.
(there no medical doctor at that time in the middle of the village)
5. Fort of Nencyth : No suggestion.
p/ss-sapa rizal haron ni?
Middleshire - used as a setting in Red Pottage by Mary Cholmondeley and Hercule Poirot's Christmas and A Murder is Announced by Agatha Christie
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